So what's been going on over the Summer? Well her in the UK its been a bit tawdry and mediocre to be honest. The Euro's were on..... Yaaaaaay.... lots of people with with a lot of national pride throwing Union Jacks all asunder celebrating us lose at football, I am not particularly interested in football.
Then it was the Jubilee....... Lots of people with a lot of national pride covered in Union Jacks celebrating an extra day off, similar to the Royal Wedding last year without Pippa Middletons arse in the papers every day.
Then it was the Olympics........ Lots of people with a lot of national pride, Union Jacks again watching us do quite well at something that was being held in the GREAT BRITAIN!!! Plus we as a nation didn't manage to fuck it up as I thought we might, but there were a few Carry On film moments at the start which made me a bit cringy!
Now its the aftermath of the Olympics I am really happy to see that the British athletes are getting the Rock N Roll status they deserve and some recognition, rather than seeing them turn up to the One show only to get overshadowed by Olly Murs giving someone tuition on how to shave their pubes but not look gay.
But the problem with the Olympics is you only want to watch it if your guaranteed to see someone you've bet on win or see Jessica Ennis' arse in Lycra,or insert any fit athlete for that matter some of the Australian ones were like sunshine on the eyes such as Michelle Jenneke, she'd have got a massive punch in the knickers for that little wriggly warm up dance she did .
I would've stuck a tenner in her Ron Hills for that!
So the Olympics as a whole is a dull as dish water to follow if I wanted to see someone with the body of a god running everywhere I'd just watch myself having a shit it the mirror on the back of the bathroom door in the morning. This now brings me to the subject of this post. The Paralympics is about to start on the 29th of August and this is going to be something to behold!
See the Paralympics isn't what it used to be in the eighties and nineties which was basically a bunch of televised spastics getting a rub on the head and told well done for doing something easy badly. I remember some of it being shown on something hosted by Noel Edmunds and it was a bunch of Downs Syndrome kids doing the 100 metre hurdles and it took about 10 minutes and most of them crawled over them like me trying to get over my back gate after I've lost my keys and 8 pints of cider. I suppose that served a purpose as Mums everywhere would watch it and say, "Awww look at them do so well." While actually thinking, "Cor I'm glad I didn't have one of them."
No no no, not this year, this has been done properly. First off the BBC have nothing to do with it. Yeeeah they did OK with the big Olympics but getting Elbow* to do the theme for it? Bit dry. Channel 4 are doing the Paralympics and they've got Public Enemy doing the theme to match the excitement of what is about to happen.
This no longer a sub televised swish of tards to make Mums happy as we had the Torch Relay for that, with the developments in technology this is going to be like a big CYBORG FIGHT with a gritty HipHop soundtrack that is going to kick arse, check this
look at that fucker!
FUCKIN BAAANG!
Boxing anyone?.. No?.. OK
This could power a boat.
Heloooo I'm jumping over you house!
The Javelin!
Seriously these people in the most part aren't using a machine to compete they are actually part of it and this makes them faster and stronger than most able bodied people. Plus a lot of these people are true heroes. Not by the fact they can run or swim faster than a car or boat or single handed lift the entire Olympic Village, a lot of these guys became disabled fighting for our respective countries so lets give them the respect and recognition they deserve by getting more on the Paralympics than the shit one that's just been on.
* I like Elbow as they look and sound like me.
LATERS YEAH. AND WATCH THE BIFF OLYMPICS ITS GOING TO BE EPIC YEAH!
